How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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