Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
