hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
