Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
