There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
