Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
