I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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