We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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