I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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