just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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