some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
