With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
