I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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