Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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