NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
