i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
where does the pee come out of this thing
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
