I think scott just propositioned me for sex
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
