you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
