His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
