I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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