ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
