can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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