Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
