so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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