why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I party with great urgency now.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
