yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
and she was petting her beer can
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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