Pants 0. Shit 1.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
