what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
