think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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