I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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