after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
