i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
