even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
