ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
