Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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