we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
