i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
