She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
