Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
