he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
