Got a toothbrush?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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