I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
