Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
