we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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