Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
