Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
