i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
