guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
