Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i believe in u and ur pee
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
