He uses pillows to masturbate.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
